Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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