Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
