Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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