I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
