On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
