Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
