there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
