Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
