oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Randomize
