okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
