She said her name was "party"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Randomize
