found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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