New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
