hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
