Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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