i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
someone get that fucking seahorse.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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