Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
