I'm going to jail i love you
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
