it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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