dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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