just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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