I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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