We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
