i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
