I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
