I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she pinky promised me she was 18
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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