I love black thongs
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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