You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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