it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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