Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
