I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
