somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
