No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
