mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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