We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
