You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
