i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
