whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
