I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
