yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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