All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
