She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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