Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
