Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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