So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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