He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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