Me too!
Too much gin, very little bucket
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
