I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
