I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
