All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
