New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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