i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
