Tell her she can't have a vagina
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
